Romaine lettuce packed by Freshway Foods of Sydney, OH has been recalled in 23 states after 19 people in Ohio, New York, and Michigan have been stricken with E coli infections. The lettuce is sold under the Freshway and Imperial Sysco brand names. The recall includes Alabama, Connecticut, the District of Columbia, Florida, Georgia, Illinois, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Missouri, New Jersey, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia and Wisconsin.
Dr. Grizbor Tznucq, JD, DDS, DVM, NNN Philosopher in Residence believes that the e coli infection is the result of industrial bio-sabotage by the Iceberg Lettuce Verein and Benevolent Society, the leading iceberg lettuce trade organization. "Ever since Caesar Salad has become a staple of the American diet iceberg lettuce sales have plummeted." Dr. Tznucq remarked. He displayed the following graph on his smart phone:
"This graph shows what I like to call the Cardini Effect. As you can see iceberg lettuce sales have declined at a rate that seems to be proportional to previous sales. Note how the slope of the graph approaches one as sales decline. There is no doubt that with the help of a cabal of Maltese bio-scientists the Iceberg Verein has introduced an especially virulent lab nurtured strain of e coli to the leaves of romaine lettuce sold all over the US."
Dr. Jerome H. Dean, NNN Agricultural Correspondent, remarked "There's no doubt in my mind. Back when I was a boy in Arkansas there were some feuds between families in my home town that got pretty fierce. I can remember several incidents where folks dumped the contents of their septic tanks on other folks' lettuce patches. These days it's all high tech. The honey dippers aren't involved any more. Farming is a treacherous business."